


In The Darkness

by savannah_blue



Category: Glee
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Blangst, Canon compliant until 4x04, M/M, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-29
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 21:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4453088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savannah_blue/pseuds/savannah_blue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Kurt admits to himself that his anger and hurt have shifted from "I can't even look at you, I will never be able to trust you again" to "I want to be able to forgive you so badly" to "I miss you so much, we can work this out, fix this, fix us, I just want to be with you", he takes a disgusting shot of whatever Brody once brought over to give him the courage to call Blaine. And finds out something is very wrong.</p>
<p>Angsty post Break Up AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm a bit hesitant to post this because it feels really over the top angsty, but I've always wanted to write an AU with Eli and this is what my angst filled brain decided to come up with. Hope you guys enjoy it :)
> 
> For those of you waiting for updates on In You I Trust, I promise I haven't abandoned it, my brain is just currently in complete angst mode so I decided to indulge with this little angst fest before trying to find the inspiration to continue on that one.

At first, Blaine keeps calling Kurt, texting him, telling him over and over how sorry he is, how that guy had meant nothing, how Blaine loves Kurt so much. Kurt is too angry and hurt and devastated to answer any of Blaine's calls. He forces himself to delete every text, every voicemail, determined to move on with his life. He's in New York, living his dream, and nothing is going to keep him from it.

And then, so suddenly it almost makes Kurt gasp as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped on him, the calls stop. The texts stop. The apologies, the desperate pleas for forgiveness, the insistent _I love you's_. They all stop.

And Kurt tries to convince himself that he is grateful. Now he can truly move on with his life, achieve all of his dreams. Except when he isn't reminded everyday of how much Blaine hurt him, he starts missing him. So much. Even more than when he first left for New York. Back then, he could focus on his new exciting life, his classes at NYADA, making new friends. Now all he can focus on is what is missing from his life, how all he wants to do is share even the smallest, silliest things with Blaine.

He tries to get over Blaine, he does. He dates Adam, who is nice and has the most charming accent and is older but still boyish in a really sexy way. But in the end he's no Blaine. Nobody is. And when Kurt admits to himself that his anger and hurt have shifted from  _I can't even look at you, I will never be able to trust you again_ to  _I want to be able to forgive you so badly_ to  _I miss you so much, we can work this out, fix this, fix us, I just want to be with you_ he takes a disgusting shot of whatever Brody once brought over to give him the courage to call Blaine.

Blaine, who doesn't answer his phone when Kurt calls. Blaine, who doesn't call Kurt back. Blaine, who ignores Kurt's texts until finally, after almost a week of radio silence sends a curt request for Kurt not to contact him again.

Blaine, who when Kurt decides that Facebook stalking is not creepy at all, turns out to have a boyfriend. Kurt bitterly wonders if this Eli is the same guy that Blaine had fucked all those months ago. Half a bottle of wine later Kurt convinces himself that the best way to get over Blaine once and for all is to throw himself an epic pity party. Which he does, clicking through picture after picture of Eli and Blaine snuggling on the couch, Eli and Blaine laughing at the beach, Eli and Blaine taking disgustingly cute selfies with the remnants of whipped cream on Blaine's nose.

Kurt angrily clicks through every single one of what feels like hundreds of recently added pictures in Blaine's profile, Eli smirking at him from each one, mocking him for being the one who gets to be happy with Blaine. When the effects of the alcohol start to wear off Kurt goes from angry to weepy and clicks through all the pictures again, this time brushing away insistent tears that make his vision blurry and prevent him from seeing Blaine's soulful eyes that are now looking at Eli like they used to look at Kurt.

It's a picture of Eli with his arms wrapped tightly around Blaine's waist, Blaine smiling directly into the camera, that has Kurt stop crying. He leans in closer to the screen, blinks to clear his vision, stares at the picture to make sure he isn't still drunk enough to imagine things. Because Blaine's soulful eyes, they aren't crinkling around the edges like they do when he is beyond happy. Kurt clicks to the next picture. Eli's arm is slung around Blaine's shoulders – Blaine's, Kurt realizes and can't believe he didn't see it before, very tense shoulders. In the next picture, Blaine's eyes look distant and empty, like they did whenever Kurt tried to get him to talk about Sadie Hawkins. In the picture taken at the beach Kurt can see a yellowing bruise on Blaine's hip.

Kurt tries to convince himself that he is imagining things, that it's wishful thinking, that he is just desperate for any clues that Blaine isn't happy in his new relationship, that Kurt still has a chance with him. But the faster he clicks through picture after picture, the more obvious it becomes that Blaine is hurting. Blaine had always been good at hiding when he was hurting, but Kurt had learned to see behind his dapper smile. And he couldn't believe that it had taken him half a night of flipping through the same pictures to see what should have been obvious to him from the start. Something is very wrong.

Calling Finn with not so subtle questions about Blaine's well-being does nothing to ease the nagging worry in the pit of Kurt's stomach. Blaine dropped out of Glee months ago, Finn says. Blaine stopped coming to Friday night dinners even before that, Finn says. Blaine barely talks to anyone at school anymore, Finn says. When Kurt asks about Eli, there is a long pause on the other end of the line. Finn knows about him, has seen him pick Blaine up from school. When Kurt presses, Finn admits that  _don't know, man, that dude is just creepy_ and Kurt tells him to tell his dad that he is flying home for spring break.

**

Blaine's not sure which days to call the good ones and which to call the bad ones. He thinks the days like today are the ones he should think are good, days that he isn't completely apathetic and it actually feels like his brain is working for a change. Only being aware of what's happening to him makes him want to crumple into nothing and cry every time Eli pushes into him with another ”Take it, slut”. So really, maybe days like today, when he feels so worthless he can barely breathe and so very alone despite Eli panting into his neck, are the bad days. And the days when he can stay inside his head and hum Katy Perry are the good days. Those are the days when he can pretend that the slaps and pinches are Kurt's tender touches. Not that he deserves someone as amazing as Kurt, but it's a nice fantasy when life feels like too much to handle. Which is more and more often.

As Eli harshly pulls out of Blaine, Blaine suppresses a wince and wonders if he should wish for them to spend the day in bed or for them to leave the house. He's so, so tired and just the thought of putting on a smile and a dopey lovestruck expression for the world to see exhausts him. Sometimes, those days feel like the worst days of all. Those are the ones when Eli wants Blaine the boyfriend instead of Blaine the slut. That's when Blaine has to hold his hand as they stroll around the mall, has to smile at him and laugh at everything he says, has to let him squeeze his ass in what's supposed to be a gentle caress between lovers but really just reminds Blaine that nice Eli is just temporary and that behind closed doors Eli will pound that ass until Blaine won't be able to stop pleas from escaping his lips. And the more he will plea Eli to  _please, please stop_ the harder Eli will fuck him.

In the end Blaine still prefers those days. Because he knows, has learned over time, that a whole day alone with Eli can turn so bad so quickly. An Eli that has come more than twice takes a long time to get hard again. And Eli is becoming more and more imaginative on what to do to Blaine's body until he can fuck him again. Blaine is already starting to feel sore, Eli had to spend the night before with his family and was too impatient to really prep Blaine this morning. It's not uncommon, but Blaine still hasn't gotten used to it.

When Eli reaches for one of the plugs that have become a permanent fixture on Blaine's nightstand and forces it into Blaine's puckered hole, thrusting it back and forth in lazy movements over Blaine's aching rim, Blaine wants to cry with how much he wishes they could have gone to the movies instead even though he would have most likely had to blow Eli in the back of the dark theater, but he forces himself to lay still. That's something he's learned, too. It's easiest to let Eli do what he wants. At least it's not the big black plug. At least not yet. Eli has only used that a few times, usually when he wants to fist Blaine.

It's when Blaine is stroking Eli's hardening cock in time to Eli's slaps on his reddening ass cheeks that the door bell lets out a loud chime. When Blaine pauses the movements of his hand with a start, staring wide eyed at his bedroom door, Eli's hand moves from Blaine's ass to Blaine's chin and Blaine is pretty sure by the sting he can feel that if he were to look in a mirror right now he could see the imprint of Eli's hand on his face. He quickly resumes stroking, hoping that Eli is too turned on to get angry as the door bell keeps chiming and praying that whoever of his parents friends that have missed the memo that his parents are out of the country will give up soon.

It turns out that not even Blaine begging Eli to fuck his mouth until he can't breathe – something Eli usually loves, mostly because it always renders Blaine into a blind, helpless panic – can distract Eli from the insistent ringing of the doorbell and after another hard slap, this one barely missing Blaine's balls, he pushes Blaine off of him with a look that has Blaine hurrying to grab a shirt and rush downstairs.

**

Kurt takes a deep breath when he can finally hear the lock being turned, trying to convince himself that he is panicking for no reason, that the feeling of  _wrong_ that hasn't left his gut since he found out about Eli is him overreacting. The moment the door opens and Kurt lays eyes on Blaine he gasps and knows that he has good reason to panic.

Blaine looks tiny, staring at Kurt with wide, terrified eyes. He's wearing an old Dalton t-shirt that isn't even long enough to hide that he isn't wearing any underwear. Kurt can see a hickey on his neck and scratch marks on his tights and when Blaine stumbles a step back Kurt sees him wince at the sudden movement and clench his eyes shut in a way that Kurt hasn't seen since they realized after their first time together that Blaine gets really easily sore after being fucked and needs a lot of prep if he doesn't want to limp around for the next few days. If all of this has Kurt in tears, the clear redness of Blaine's cheek has Kurt furious.

Before Kurt can reach out, Blaine is backing away from him, hiding his body behind the door and stuttering in a panicked voice.

”Ku-kurt, what...what are you doing here?” After a glance over his shoulder, Blaine silences his voice to a whisper and the words leave his mouth almost too quickly for Kurt to understand what he's saying. ”You have to go, right now.”

Kurt is opening his mouth to protest when a shadow falls over Blaine's form and he seems to shrink in on himself even more, cowering under the arm that is suddenly tightly wrapped around his shoulders.

”What's going on here, Blaine?”

Kurt immediately recognizes Eli from the pictures although the expression he's sporting seems to distort his features into an ugly mask of fury.

”Noth-nothing, Eli, I swear! He just, just showed up. I told him to leave!” Blaine's panicked gaze turns to Kurt. ”Tell him! Tell him I told you to leave, you should leave, I don't... I don't want to see you. I love Eli now. Please, just leave.”

Before Kurt can react, Eli has Blaine pinned against the open door and is hissing in his face. ”You worthless slut, you've let your fairy ex fuck you this whole time, haven't you?!”

”No, no, I promise, I haven't talked to him, I promise, Eli, I haven't, like you told me to.”

Blaine's voice is sounding choked and his arms start to flail weakly. When Kurt realizes that Eli is pushing his arm down on Blaine's throat, Blaine desperately gasping for breath, Kurt finally unfreezes and lunges at Eli.

**

Blaine is feeling dizzy, the thought of  _Kurt, Kurt, Kurt_ the only thing that keeps him trying to draw in breaths. When the restricting weight leaves his throat he greedily gulps for air before falling to the floor in a heap of uncoordinated limbs. Everything becomes a blur after that. There is screaming and the sound of glass breaking and a heavy thump. And there is silence and the cold gust of wind on his barely covered body. And sirens, then there are sirens, so loud and Blaine clenches his eyes shut, wanting to block everything out but unable to get his arms to cooperate to be able to cover his ears.

When he feels hands touching him he starts humming quietly under his breath,  _...you make me feel, like I'm living a teenage dream_ ..., trying desperately to ignore the unwelcome touches that have become his whole life. It isn't until he is cradled against a chest, fingers carding through his curls and a shushing voice in his ear that he feels the smell of a cologne he had bought a bottle of months ago just to be able to pretend for the shortest seconds that he hasn't lost the best thing that ever happened to him.  _Kurt_ , his muddled brain supplies him with. Not Eli, Kurt.

Blaine abruptly stops humming and tries to pull away, thoughts of  _dirty, worthless, no good, slut, not good enough for Kurt_ pouring incoherently out of his mouth. When Kurt shushes him and pulls him closer, murmuring assurances and  _love you's_ and promises of  _never saying goodbye to you again_ , Blaine slumps against his chest, too exhausted to fight what he so desperately wants to believe.


End file.
